Pastor Manley Miller

You would think this would go without saying, but often times those are the things which need to be verbalized.

Its never works out to criticize your spouse publicly. Especially in front of your In-Laws.

When you find yourself at a function or an event or a gathering - and your spouse does something you deem ‘criticism worthy’ - simply take a mental snapshot and place it on the shelf of your mind for a conversation that evening before you go to bed.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;  for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” - James 1:19-20 

It’s always best to frame criticisms with love on one side and humility on the other. Dana and I try to prep each other by saying “Hey - I need to share something which will come across as critical, let me know when you are ready to hear it.” This preparation phrase usually gives the other person time to mentally position themselves in a receiving mode as opposed to a defensive mode.

It is impossible for anyone to receive unexpected criticism. Walls jump up and the spears come out. We lash out at one another and this never looks good in public. It makes everyone around us uncomfortable and the person who offers the criticism always looks bad in the eyes of the witnesses.

Next time you feel the need to criticize your spouse - just hang onto it for a minute. Its amazing to me how often I forget about the instance by the time I get in bed. Maybe it wasn’t so important after all. God gave us two ears and only one mouth - this is because we should listen twice as often as we speak.